Wednesday, April 25, 2012
R house says it best!
As part of the RESOLVE’s National Infertility Awareness Week blogging challenge, I wanted to focus on the theme for this year: Don’t ignore infertility. More specifically, don’t ignore infertility support groups and helping family and friends not ignore our disease. Mr. R and I tried for two years to get pregnant. We were in denial that we wouldn’t be able to create a family in the way that we had originally planned. It was a discouraging time for us. We ignored the now obvious signs and put off getting medical help/diagnosis. In choosing to avoid the inevitable, we chose to ignore the help that was available to us during said discouraging time. I could have used a friend! I could have used support from my peers. Don’t ignore infertility support groups. Get help. Start healing. (Find infertility support groups in your area HERE.) We were finally diagnosed in 2006. (6 years ago! What?!) Since then, I have found the most incredible community that has helped Mr. R and I find a place in this crazy fertile world. Most of this community is online brought together by the blogging world who is willing to share their experiences with each other. We are also lucky to be involved with Utah Infertility Awareness (who host an amazing conference every year). We’ve been able to educate our family and friends on things that we need from them and things that they should/shouldn’t say to us. Most of them have listened to our requests and have been an excellent support. Some of them still need a few reminders. Are you interested in not ignoring the disease of infertility that your loved one is currently battling? (HERE are some resources to help you support your loved one through infertility. ) Infertility Etiquette is my all-time favorite article to share with people who want to support someone struggling with infertility. Even though we don’t want you to ignore us or our disease, we also don’t want you to tell us you know more than our doctors by giving us medical advice, telling us to relax or blaming our lack of conception on our “lack of faith.” Be here for us, don’t ignore us, but please know that just because you’ve been able to conceive it doesn’t make you the expert on infertility or fertility for that matter. Wondering what you can say to someone battling infertility? This article entitled When Infertility Strikes is fantastic–especially the bullet points. As an infertility survivor, I plead with those of you who may be experiencing infertility (defined as a year of trying without getting pregnant) to stop ignoring the signs (like we did!) and get some help and support. And on behalf of “my species” I want to thank those of you who try to support us during this terribly difficult journey. Thank you for not being defensive. Thank you for listening to our requests on how we’d like to be treated and spoken to. Thank you for caring enough to read this post. Thank you for not ignoring infertility.